Tag: forgiveness

As we get ready to shower mom with love and appreciation on this upcoming Mother’s Day, the idea of parenthood comes into question. How did your parents do as parents?

Hmm, good question. I’ve wrestled with a few complaints about mom and dad over the years:

  • They always have to be right. They don’t even listen to my side of the story; it’s only their way or no way. Don’t they understand they don’t know everything?
  • They want me to do everything their way. They won’t let me be my own person and learn my own lessons. Don’t they understand that I’m living my life, not theirs?
  • I’ll never measure up. Everything I do is never enough. Instead of congratulations, I get skepticism. Don’t they understand that it doesn’t have to look like they think it should?
  • It’s ok for you to do it but if I do the exact same thing, I get a lecture. Why is it wrong for me and not for you? Don’t they understand that nobody respects a hypocrite?
  • If I’m content being single, it must mean I’m unhappy and something must be wrong with me. God forbid, I get married later than 20 years old. Don’t they understand that some people choose not to rush into marriage?
  • They don’t even know what I do for a living. I’ve never had to repeat myself so often about what I do, for it to go in one ear and out the other. It’s like unless it promises a pension, I don’t have a real job. Don’t they understand this isn’t the 1950s?

You said it, Will; parents just don’t understand.

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Close your eyes. Picture someone you love very much, with all your heart. Your mom, your daughter, your nephew, your grandpa, your best friend, your husband, whoever. Pick one. For the sake of this exercise, we’ll call this person the love of your life.

Get a clear image of that person in your mind. See their face, their hair, their hands. Notice their eyes when they glimmer, their smile when it sparkles, their voice when they’re giddy.

Feel in your heart how much you love that person. How much you don’t want that person to ever be hurt or harmed. How much joy they bring to your life.

Feel your heart bubble up with adoration, pride and gratitude for this person.

Now, take all that sensation and bottle it up in a huge water jug. Imagine pouring that jug into the valve of a fire hydrant.

Screw on the hose. Take the nozzle and release the throttle to send your love spraying out into the world.

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Each and every single day of our lives, we work toward love. The one thing we don’t need to work for at all, yet it is the one thing we work the hardest at. So much so, we never fail at it, searching and finding love.

We don’t always know we’re doing it, but we are. We seek to be loved, to feel loved and to know we’re loved. And we effort toward that through any means necessary.

We search and we find it however we can. Through compliments, awards, sex, food, drugs, gossip, Instagram, shopping, comparing, belittling…

A lot or a little at a time, we distract ourselves from true love and gravitate toward good-for-now. We’ve become addicted to those small detours away from self-judgment. Anything that gets our minds off what we hate about ourselves.

Doesn’t sound like love at all.

Nothing external can be a source (er, a reminder) of love, unless we first love ourselves. Love that comes inside-out is able to recognize love that comes outside-in. We see, feel and know only what’s already inside of us.

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The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

There’s an old story of two Buddhist monks walking along the far stretches of the Taklamakan Desert. They come across a small stream in Kashgar, and spot a woman struggling to make it across with all her belongings. One of the monks decides to pick up the woman with her things and carry her on his back as the two men cross the stream on foot. Monk #1 sets her down at the other end, says nothing, and continues on with monk #2 still by his side. The two monks walk in silence for miles more before monk #2 speaks up and says, “You know we are not permitted to touch the opposite sex; what you did is offensive.” And he looked on expectantly, awaiting an explanation.

“Oh, you’re still carrying that?” replies monk #1. “I dropped her off 3 miles ago.”Continue Reading..

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It’s any wonder why someone would choose darkness when light is just a decision away. A decision to incorporate new thoughts of wellness and peace into one’s mindset, thereby overriding thoughts of disease and hate. A decision to view another person as capable of making mistakes and in need of as much mercy as you or I. In other words, decisions to move out from under the shadows and into the sun.

It’s any wonder, too, that someone would choose punishment over forgiveness.Punishment denotes a jurisdiction of authority over a particular offense, or a perceived power over another person. No amount of accolades or credentials gives anyone enough vindication to punish someone else for any action. What might be justice in your eyes might be torture in another pair. We as humans cannot even agree on forms of punishment, debating whether the death penalty or 5 years in jail is suitable for a count of child molestation. So, is it safe to say that punishment is in itself a subjective decree?

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