Tag: relationships

As we get ready to shower mom with love and appreciation on this upcoming Mother’s Day, the idea of parenthood comes into question. How did your parents do as parents?

Hmm, good question. I’ve wrestled with a few complaints about mom and dad over the years:

  • They always have to be right. They don’t even listen to my side of the story; it’s only their way or no way. Don’t they understand they don’t know everything?
  • They want me to do everything their way. They won’t let me be my own person and learn my own lessons. Don’t they understand that I’m living my life, not theirs?
  • I’ll never measure up. Everything I do is never enough. Instead of congratulations, I get skepticism. Don’t they understand that it doesn’t have to look like they think it should?
  • It’s ok for you to do it but if I do the exact same thing, I get a lecture. Why is it wrong for me and not for you? Don’t they understand that nobody respects a hypocrite?
  • If I’m content being single, it must mean I’m unhappy and something must be wrong with me. God forbid, I get married later than 20 years old. Don’t they understand that some people choose not to rush into marriage?
  • They don’t even know what I do for a living. I’ve never had to repeat myself so often about what I do, for it to go in one ear and out the other. It’s like unless it promises a pension, I don’t have a real job. Don’t they understand this isn’t the 1950s?

You said it, Will; parents just don’t understand.

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‘Tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all.

My guess is Alfred Lord Tennyson knew a thing or two about love. I agree with his sentiment, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Love is a transformative, powerful thing, and to be able to express that to and with another human being is the prize of life.

No matter if that human stays or goes.

Relationships teach us a lot about ourselves. Our hopes, our dreams, our limitations, our expectations. They teach us about how we get along with others, who we vibe with and who we don’t…and why.

They teach us about what we accept or tolerate, and what we refuse to.

What we trust and don’t trust.

They shine a light on our insecurities; the vulnerabilities we choose to expose and those we choose to hide.

They either hold us hostage or set us free.

We can learn something from everyone. Add a special intimacy to the mix and the lessons run very deep.

The biggest lessons come when we see ourselves in the other person, our reflection in their eyes. When we see our own actions in their behavior. When we see our truth in their truth.

We can open ourselves up to this insight—the penetrating similarities—or deny it. But when we deny it, we close our eyes to introspection. When we discern it, we let in empathy and self-love, because what we love in others, we love in ourselves.

My last relationship taught me a lot about love; loving and feeling loved. Loving without condition, loving with condition. Loving to escape. Loving to rescue. Loving to find, loving to be found.

Loving for all the reasons love isn’t, and loving for all the reasons it is.

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Let’s talk about attachment which happens when people form friendships, intimate relationships, have babies, etc. There’s some level of clinging that bonds us…and we aren’t aware of the tie when we’re not conscious and present.

I’m sure a newlywed bride and groom would put lots of effort in protecting and prolonging their honeymoon phase so that it goes on as long as possible. Because if that honeymoon phase ends, what will that mean? That the love’s gone too?

I’m sure most parents would admit to thinking that if anything happens to their child, they’d die. God forbid someone hurt their child, they’re ready to murder any suspects.

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The highest spiritual path is life itself. 

Michael A Singer

Now that we have an idea of what ego is, let’s see why it’s here.

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You resonate with (or are turned on by) people whose vibrational energy is similar to yours.

Barbara De Angelis

The book by the name, Are You The One For Me?, written by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., brought to light some interesting notions about relationships. I dusted it off during my new-year house-cleaning, scanned it, and it got me thinking. (Very timely. Nevermind its archaic publishing date of 1992.) If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ll know I often differentiate ‘relationships’ from ‘love’. They are not one in the same. One may beget the other, but they remain separate concepts.

Love is a conscious state of being. It can be expressed in a variety of different ways and is found everywhere, even alone. Love needs no partner; it just is. A relationship is an earthly pairing of two or more entities. The connections formed therein—be it between parent and child, friend and friend, lover and lover, or man and dog—can be expressions of love. Healthy relationships require mutual consideration and respect. Love, on the other hand, requires no physical expression to exist.

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